College football’s second weekend was eerily void of marquee matchups. UCLA and Arizona have been rewarded for their risk-taking with rankings in the Top 25 while Nebraska and Oklahoma State were exposed but not a single game featured a pair of teams that entered the weekend undefeated.

One of the cringeworthy comedies in recent memory was 2010’s Dinner With Schmucks starring Paul Rudd as an ambitious exec who takes part in an office competition to bring the most half-witted guest to the boss’ dinner.

That harebrained plot defined the weekend in college football. Besides LSU, and the aforementioned program most of this week’s match-ups involved overmatched David’s against Goliaths.

Although, this philosophy blew up in Arkansas’ face, the award for most incompetent guest belongs to Florida State, which replaced West Virginia (who was off after a “rivalry” match against Marshall in Week 1) with FCS cellar dweller Savannah State, who has been outscored 139-0 through six quarters of football.

UCLA May Have Best Freshman QB In The Nation In Brett Hundley

While USC continues to fall from their No. 1-ranking despite easy wins, No. 22-ranked UCLA’s upward trajectory has pushed them into the Top 25 for the first time since 2008. They may not be done because through his first two games, Hundley appears to be the best freshman signal caller in the nation.

From his very first college snap, a 72-yard touchdown to the final seconds of his 21-of-33, 322-yard, four touchdown performance, the 19-year-old has has the highest ceiling since Troy Aikman was tossing touchdowns in Westwood. It’s hard not to fantasize about the possibilities for UCLA’s 6-foot-3, 223 pound, dual threat and the future of Jim Mora’s Bruins.

Johnathan Franklin Enters Heisman Convo

Keeping with the UCLA theme, not since Maurice Jones was tearing up the Rose Bowl turf has a Bruins running back been uttered in the same sentence as the Heisman Trophy. Recently, a billboard promoting Matt Barkley’s Heisman candidacy was placed near UCLA’s campus and quickly blacked out. However, fresh off Franklin’s second consecutive 200-plus yard rushing performance voters have been on notice, the Heisman race in L.A. is no longer a one-man show.

Montee Ball faltered, De’Anthony Thomas was outshined by starter Kenjon Barner and Le’Veon Bell cooled down against Central Michigan. Conversely, Franklin blazed through Nebraska’s vaunted defense for 276 yards, including 217 by ground.

Anti-Heisman Award: Taylor Martinez

Such is the circle of life. When one Heisman candidacy is born, another is destroyed. Taylor Martinez’s purported evolution as a passer in Week 1 was the most misleading performance since Milli Vanilli’s debut album. One week after a marvelous passing performance, Martinez reverted back into the one-dimensional scrambler that’s held Nebraska’s offense back for two years. Let’s face it, Martinez will never develop a Troy Smith or Aaron Murray-type skillset. He’s simply Eric Crouch without the mad genius offensive coordinators and minus game breaking ball carriers.

SoCal’s Trojan Horse

For the second straight September, No. 2 LSU dismantled an explosive Pac-12 offense. In two games against North Texas and Washington, LSU’s defense has allowed just 17 points. Meanwhile, No. 1-ranked Alabama shutout Western Kentucky one week after Denard Robinson filed assault and battery charges against the ‘Bama defense.

What does this have to do with USC? The No. 2 Trojans allowed 0-2 Syracuse to roll up 39 points against their 55th ranked total defense. Barkley threw for six touchdowns to lead the Trojans 42-point effort but that’s nothing to brag about. The Orangemen defense also gave up 42 to Northwestern’s intramural squad in week 1.

Thirty-five first half points by Oregon against Fresno State also established the dichotomy between the SEC’s best and the Pac-12’s elite but in the second half, the Ducks allowed 25 points.

Over the past six years, the SEC’s physicality has reminded teams of the old adage that defense wins championships. Arkansas, plummeted from the top-10 to unranked after getting toppled by Louisiana Monroe in overtime but it’s no accident that the first top-10 SEC program to falter is also the one that never fully appreciated the art of defense.

Jarvis Jones: USC’s Loss Is UGA’s Gain

Quarterback Aaron Murray is the cover boy for the seventh-ranked Bulldogs but the conductor for Saturday night’s win was ex-USC transfer Jarvis Jones. After Mizzou defensive tackle, Sheldon Richardson popped off about the Bulldogs’ old-man football style of play, Mark Richt’s boys slapped some Bengay on their (presumably) ashy knees, strapped up their kneepads, trotted out onto Mizzou’s claustrophobic home field and performed like that cat who’s been ballin’ at the same park since the rim was a peach basket.

With UGA’s defense nursing a 27-20 lead, the 6-3, 241-pound missile-seeking outside linebacker forced two turnovers in a 49 second span during the fourth quarter.

The first was an interception, which he returned to the Missouri 1. The ensuing turnover was the result of Jones crept up on a completely oblivious James Franklin. Jones nearly amputated the quarterback’s hand with a thunderous karate chop, which lodged the ball loose allowed the Bulldogs to recover at the Mizzou 5.

Jones’ forced turnovers stretched the Jones’ barrage stretched a one possession lead into a 21-point blowout.  Given the Trojans current defensive woes, Monte Kiffin must be fuming not having arguably the best defensive player in the nation on his sideline.

If Richardson has seen 50-year-old Herschel Walker recently, he would have hesitated before knocking old man football because Jarvis Jones isn’t the only ‘old man’ that hits back.

Are the Arizona Wildcats A Rising Pac-12 Force?

Before Chip Kelly’s brought his frantic, no-huddle tempo to Oregon, Rich Rodriguez was touted as the brightest offensive mind in college football. After flaming out in Ann Arbor, Rodriguez took his spread option, no huddle attack to the Arizona Wildcats. In his second game as head coach, Rodriguez sent a message to the nation in the form of a 59-38 win over No. 18 Oklahoma State.

Pat White and Steve Slaton aren’t walking out that tunnel but sophomore tailback Ka’Deem Carey and senior quarterback Matt Scott are emerging as an impressive pair of multi-purpose threats. Carey is averaging over 135 rushing yards per game while Mat Scott has thrown for 353.5 yards and rushing for an average of 65 yards per game over the Wildcats first two games.

If anything, Arizona’s 2-0 start is a positive indicator that his tenure at Arizona will fare better than his inauspicious start in Ann Arbor where he was ousted after three seasons and was unable to execute the core philosophy he inherited when he was a young assistant under Bobby Bowden.

Watching the storied Penn State and Miami programs trudge through mediocrity is like watching Cuba Gooding Jr. trade in his Rod Tidwell persona and Academy Award to play dentist in Snow Dogs or Allen Iverson ballin’ for Be?ikta? of the Turkish Basketball League.

On Saturday, the Hurricanes were obliterated 52-13 courtesy of Kansas State’s near 300-yard rushing effort and 500 total yards. Somewhere in a prison penitentiary, Nevin Shapiro is patting himself on the back or at least, he hopes that’s his own hand.

Very soon, an entire generation will know The U. only as a lowercase vowel and middling ACC program. Like Miami, Penn State has been floored by recent revelations made by program insiders serving lengthy bids behind bars.  Over in Manhattan, Kansas, crossbars were Penn State’s enemy.

Of the Nittany Lions’ high profile roster departures during the programs off-season exodus, placekicker Anthony Fera’s transfer to Texas was lost in the mix. Penn State fans noticed as his replacement, Sam Ficken, left a dozen points on the board in Penn State’s 17-16 loss.

After the NCAA levied it’s heavy handed punishment against Penn State in June, a large percentage of fans believed the program would spend the next four years enduring a ‘fate worse than death’ (penalty). If you’re aware of that phrase’s origins, then the Nittany Lions may be stuck in an appropriate purgatory.

Worse Passing Performance: Antonio Bostick vs. Kiehl Frazier

Auburn’s newly constructed Cam Newton statue outside of Jordan-Hare Stadium might have given Chizik’s offense a better performance against Mississippi State than Kiehl Frazier. At halftime, the Auburn quarterback had completed 1-of-7 attempts for -2 yards and by the third quarter, Frazier had completed three passes for 18 yards. As a result, Outkick The Coverage’s Clay Travis listed air ahead of Frazier on his top SEC quarterbacks rankings.

Before the heavens mercy ruled Savannah State’s 55-0 drubbing at the hands of Florida State, quarterback Antonio Bostick was 2-of-15 for nine yards.  After the game was called after three quarters due to thunderstorms. while Bostick should have been doing the rain dance in the club that night for blessing him with the opportunity to escape Florida State’s pressure defense with his dignity intact.

Ultimately, the edge goes to Frazier who’s only completion during a conference matchup went for a loss, which is akin to Ricky Davis going for a triple-double by shamelessly collecting his own shot and rebound on the opposing team’s hoop.

Quick Hits

The one-year mercenary contract that John L. Smith signed is now officially one of those exploding Mission Impossible spy messages.

The (New)Ohio State looks a lot like Rich Rod’s Michigan now that Braxton Miller is the do-it-all quarterback for Ohio State, which could conceivably go undefeated against a shoddy Big Ten and out-of-conference schedule and miss out on a bowl game.

Logan Thomas threw for 15-of-23 and 212 yards from a lawn chair against Austin Peay but these are the types of game when true Heisman candidates are given the green light to pad their numbers. His stat line was too workman-like. Take a cue from Matt Barkley who chilled out in his trailer and made a few brief cameos once the Trojans were in scoring position. His 187 yards aren’t all that impressive until you note his six passing touchdowns thrown in shower slippers and a robe.

FAMU can’t be happy about their 69-13 but these are strange times in Florida. Just by fielding a band, the Miami Hurricanes have a better halftime show than FAMU this season but on the plus side FAMU may have a better offense than Miami.